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Wednesday, 31 August 2016

Enough Is Enough

I just fired someone.  Never done that before in my whole long uneventful life but MAN did they deserve it.
You see, a few years ago the hubs developed pneumonia that landed him in hospital for two weeks and on oxygen for a few months.  We hired a lawn maintenance company to fill in for him.  In the meantime the poor guy also developed glaucoma and now his eyesight is less than peachy.  We continued on with the lawn company.  The first year was great, the second year was fine, the third year was....okay, but this year, this year it is not only not okay it is freakin' terrible.
I bought a lawn mower today.  A little light electric job.  We'll manage somehow even if I have to push it using my cane.  I am not paying another red cent to those people.
If you live in Guelph and want to know the company name I'll tell you...otherwise, I don't want to bad mouth anyone here.

Displaced

Everyone has their favourite perch.  The hubs had his and I had mine.  The unspeakable happened and his perch had to be disposed of.  Now he roosts on my favourite perch and neither of us is happy.

Tuesday, 30 August 2016

When Two Worlds Collide

My perfect reality involves a small, well organized, clean and tidy space occupied by just one human being....me...and my imaginary cat.  There is a working gas fireplace, lots of shelves, a big deep comfortable chair, lots of light and plenty of closed storage.
My actual reality is so far from my ideal it's enough to make me weep in despair at times.  I keep trying to make the two realities mesh but so far....no luck.

Monday, 29 August 2016

Get It Together People

Why does size 12 petite vary so much between manufacturers?  I have just spent an hour in a clothing store trying on size 12 slacks...yes petite....I'm vertically challenged.  Two pair I couldn't get over my admittedly generous hips.....several more pair were at least four inches too long and one magical pair was just right.  These people need to get together on their sizing.

Sunday, 28 August 2016

Three Strikes and I'm Out

Good Grief.
Baseball.  On a one to ten scale for boredom it ranks right up there around a 20.
Can you imagine?
I have discovered to my amazement and horror that I know more about baseball than I ever wanted to know.
I don't watch the game you see.  I may be in the room while it's on TV (just keeping the hubs company you know) but I am reading or knitting or napping...NOT watching.  And yet....and yet, there it is....information...terms....words.....rules.....
I present for your disgust and dismay the following:  stadium, bleachers, dug outs, diamond, bases, home plate, pitchers mound, pitchers, batters, back catchers, umpires, in and out fielders, coaches, batting cage, curve balls, bunts, home runs, errors, balks, fan interference...the list goes on.  I'll bore you no further.
Why is my brain clogged up with this stuff?  At my age I need all my grey cells just to remember my way home from the grocery store.  I hate this.  Get it out of my head.

Saturday, 27 August 2016

Reality

We pass through many realities in our journey through life...our own and others.  Just because your reality today differs from your reality yesterday or, indeed, your reality 60 years ago doesn't mean those realities are gone forever.  They exist for as long as you exist...side by side with today's reality and tomorrows reality and the reality that exists only in your dreams.  You can go visit anytime.  Just don't get lost and forget your way back.

Friday, 26 August 2016

Cleanup In Aisle Four

Just a quick outing to the grocery store...that's all it was.  A quick pass through the produce, over to the deli for some cheese and then down the meat aisle to check the specials.  I told him to 'wait right there' while I checked to see if there were any good looking ribs and then sailed past him and said "nope...on to the yogurt".   Half a store and two containers of yogurt later I turned around to put the goods in the cart and......he wasn't there.  I eventually found him all the way back at the meat aisle headed in the opposite direction to where I told him I was going.  This happens all the time....he can't hear well and his eyesight is going.  I guess I'm going to have to put a leash on him.

No Charge

Famous people are forever bragging about their weight loss and telling us (because we all want to know don't we?) how they did it.  Usually "how they did it" is expensive...clubs, plans, spas, clinics, equipment, or, they lived off grapefruit..  Lucky them.  They got to lose weight and then recoup their financial investment by endorsing the method.
I'm going to tell you how my better half and I lost 30 pounds more or less (me more, him less) each and I'm not going to charge you a red cent (or a blue green or pink cent).  It doesn't involve breaking a sweat or buying equipment or joining a group.  I'm not going to tell you what you should NOT eat , I'm just going to tell WHAT to eat.
Here goes........eat fish and meat, eggs and plain yogurt, all vegetables, berries, oatmeal, whole grain rice, rice cakes, soy cheese spread, kidney beans, chick peas, Becel, and, drink water and/or black coffee or tea.  Use low fat salad dressings, Worcestershire sauce, a little maple syrup (really little) on your oatmeal, bran buds.....any spices you like but take it easy on the salt and a bit of olive oil for cooking.  That's it.  If you don't see it here, don't put it in your mouth.
It worked for us, it might work for you, it might not but it won't cost you anything extra and it won't earn me any money.
One lovely side effect is that this is a VERY clean diet...you can't eat like this and go to restaurants very successfully and frozen pre-prepared food is hopeless.  After a couple of weeks (if you are anything like us) your energy levels will pick up.

Thursday, 25 August 2016

God Help Me

The cry of an injured and outraged bear echoes throughout the house followed by a few choice words I don't approve of.  It can only mean one thing...the digital cable box is misbehaving again.

There Ought To Be A Law

 The Jehovah's Witness are on the street this morning.  Now, I don't begrudge anyone their personal beliefs.  I don't mind if they worry about the rest of us who don't lean their way.  If they want to pray for us that's okay too.  BUT...I DO mind that they come to our door, knock on it with no regard as to what we may or may not be doing and harangue at us about the excellence of their ways compared to ours.
I've tried opening the door and explaining politely we have our own set of beliefs but that just leaves one open to unwanted conversation.  I've tried just saying "no thank you" through the closed door but then they stand there knocking and ringing and shouting "we're not selling anything"...(yeah...right).  I've posted a good sized note on the front door asking them politely to desist and not to leave any literature but I found that they then started going to the side door instead.
Now when I see the car and the ladies with their tote bags I close the blinds and windows and lock the doors and ignore the knocking and ringing.  When I'm pretty sure they've vacated the street entirely I open up again.  It's a nuisance.
There ought'a be a law.
Of course, I don't like it when 'alternate carriers', politicians, kids selling chocolate bars and pretty much anyone else  comes to the door.  It could be I'm just crabby.

Wednesday, 24 August 2016

The Watcher

On the sidelines,
my usual viewpoint,
well back from the action...
in my safety zone,
observant but not....involved.
You don't get hit with the ball this way.
They don't dump Gater Aid down your neck either.
From a safe distance
I share
the agony of defeat
the exhileration of victory
without breaking a sweat
or shedding a tear.
My voice raises in an unheard cheer
and I go home.

Some Things You Just Can't Buy

I have a lovely ring.  It's gold with diamonds circling it.  I think they call them eternity rings.  This is the ring Dad gave Mom when she was diagnosed with cancer.  I got the impression it was a 'here's an expensive ring....now you can't die' kind of thing.  Like a bribe.  It didn't work.  There are some things you can't buy.  Now I have the ring.  I like it very much, it's a lovely keepsake ...but ..... I wish it had worked.

Tuesday, 23 August 2016

You Talkin' To Me?

I've pretty much always talked to myself...probably a result of growing up an only child with a severe shortage of playmates.  It doesn't help that now I'm married to a man who suffers from severe hearing loss as well as selective male hearing.  It's never been a problem.  At least, not when I'm home behind closed doors or outside in my securely fenced and treed backyard.  However, talking to yourself can become a bit of an addiction that takes over in unsuitable situations.....ie....in public.  It happened in the grocery store this morning.  There was a fair crowd shopping and I was hovering over the tomatoes declaiming on the merits of partially ripe, ripe and OMG what IS that smell when I noticed that I was quite alone in a sea of people that had parted far far to the east west north and south of me.  Huh!  Now what do you suppose THAT was about?

Monday, 22 August 2016

Let's Go To The Ex

You know summer is cruising out of control when they start to advertise the CNE...the Canadian National Exhibition.....that great annual carnival of dust, noise and fried onions that indicates the end of summer and the end of freedom for school children across Ontario and indeed, across this great land of ours.  One last mighty hurrah  before shopping for school clothes and supplies hits the frantic level. If you don't leave 'The Ex' with a sunburned nose, a tummy ache and a general feeling of impending doom.....well, you just haven't done it right.

Sunday, 21 August 2016

Holding Up

It's been a long and tiring day.  Doing nothing has that affect on me.  It's the hardest thing about retirement I find.....it should be called retiredment.